Part 2 (Chapter 19)

Following the interlude on the ride home, John spent the next couple of months abstaining from alcohol, exercising, and focusing on his work. He was beginning to feel a heightened sense of empathy and power in his work again, and despite the differences in culture, he had found a very effective cruising altitude with his patients. 

 He thought about all of the twists and turns his life had taken, and realized as a middle-aged man, a widow, and as a therapist, he had inadvertently followed in the footsteps of his mentor Dr. Paul.  Right now his life was all about the work, and he was in all modesty, achieving a level of mastery again. 

In thinking about this, he thought back to something he often espoused in his session regarding the relationship between suffering and wisdom. Despite being 10,000 miles from home, it was a conversation he revisited often. He looked at his handouts and read the following from M Scott Peck

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

 Good ole’ M Scott. He wrote some of the great truths of the 20^th century in his seminal book The Road Less Traveled, about commitment, choices, and impulse control. Then he cheated on his wife and ruined his marriage. It was a story that had always stuck with him. It reminded him that even the greatest among us were capable of human frailty. 

As he continued to abstain from alcohol, he felt his powers of observation improving, and noticed some of the same pains of empathy returning from his early days as a therapist. Previously he had treated this pain with alcohol. After that he had been lucky enough to treat it with an enduring and passionate love.

Neither of those were options right now. 

He had instead purchased a motorcycle to tour New Zealand and see every nook and cranny of his beautiful new home. He realized this choice came with some perils given his drinking habits, and he thought about Benny and a life that was snuffed out to soon. 

 His first trip was to the northern tip of the country to a place called Cape Reinga. It was, in a sense, the actual end of the earth. A lighthouse stood at the end of the park in the town which served as the main attraction. He made the short walk and took out his kindle. He was reading a book by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross on resilience that had been invaluable to him in both his life and his work. He read,

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

He hoped that one day this would apply to him.