Chapter 23

The next morning he looked outside the window and saw a light drizzle coming down. It was dark and grey, and he wondered if it was a kind of foreshadowing. On the other hand he felt a kind of rising excitement. He remembered a quote from Freya Stark. “To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the most pleasant sensations in the world.”

He thought about how he should spend his time with such a big meeting coming up. Part of him considered doing some more exercise and another walk. Another part wanted a drink. He hadn’t decided which voice to listen to yet.

He began walking in no particular direction, and saw a sign directing him to Chinatown. It seemed an interesting way to spend a day all things considered, and he decided to check it out. He missed the good Chinese food in Chicago, and at the very least he would treat himself to a good meal.

Walking through the lanterns and statues and lights, he thought about all of the Chinatowns he had visited in his life, and a flood of memories came rushing back. First there was Seattle, the first big city of his life when he was young, and then San Francisco, the first time he was in love and barely able to afford an egg roll. Later in Chicago he had taken his wife and daughter to Chinatown often, and it was always a great adventure for the three of them. He had good memories of Chinatown.

He peeked into one of the bars and saw a large crowd of people already gathered, despite the fact it was only 11 in the morning. He saw a sign advertising Chinese Mai Tai’s near the door, and found himself going in to the shadowy and dark cavern. It was a bit of déjà vu again, and he made a mental note to proceed carefully.

He watched the bartender pour several shots of mysterious liquor into a large glass and place it in front of him. John placed 10 bucks in front of the bartender. The bartender placed a decision back in front of him. 

He held the glass up to the light and took it in. A Chinese Mai Tai. It seemed like an odd combination. He took a moment to consider the urge to drink at this particular moment. Why now? What were his instincts telling him?

Historically he had sabotaged intimacy in his life with alcohol, and he wondered if he was doing that now. He had undeniably detected a spark with Amarita, but what she had suggested at that time was infidelity. He wasn’t a saint and had been with married women years before, but it was something he vowed to never do again. It was hard enough to find love in this world, and he didn’t ever want to destroy another person’s version of it ever again.

He took a sip of his drink and immediately wished he hadn’t. It seemed to be some kind of rum mixed with gasoline, and he knew it was too strong and too intense for what he needed right now. He wanted his instincts to be sharp for his meeting later so he could make a good decision.

In the end, he pushed the drink back to the bartender, and decided on some Dim Sum and a diet coke. He mentally congratulated himself on recognizing an old pattern and seizing a moment of mindfull awareness.

They were fleeting sometimes.