He took a cab to Cogee Beach, and felt a surge
of anticipation as to what he had decided to do. He was gong to walk from Cogee
to Bondi beach in the city, which was one of the most famous beach walks in the
world. The physical exercise would do him good both physically and emotionally.
He thought for a moment about all of the
great walks he had taken, and how so many of them had been at watershed moments
of his life. Walking the Grand Canyon as a young man and then again a lifetime
later had been two of the most significant things that had ever happened to
him. He also recalled the lonely walk to the Lone Cypress in Pebble Beach after
his wife had died, and even his walks along the Colombia river in his hometown
when we was a lost soul at 18. They were all important memories for him.
Hearing the waves crashing below, he decided
to get off the path and walk down and hang on the rocks for a while. He
recalled something Kurt Vonnegut had said about wanting to get as close to the
edge as possible without going over. It was the way he had mostly lived
himself.
He thought for a moment as to how much his
trip had changed in the last 3 hours. Left to his own devices, he knew he might
have ended up spending several hours at the bar in Manly. Regardless of
what happened from here, this was a much healthier activity.
Walking along the boardwalk, he thought about
his life and the possible crossroads he was at. He had rejected the beautiful
woman he was going to meet once before, but in doing so had promised himself he
would instead pursue the idea of connecting with his fellow human beings again.
What if she was single now? How would that fit into his plans?
And just how was his plan going thus far? He had in fact committed to his work,
and felt a sense of satisfaction knowing he affected lives, and then those
lives affected lives. What was the meaning of life if not that? Love was the
only acceptable other answer to that question, but he wasn’t anywhere near that
right now.
He got to Bondi and saw the hundreds of
people lying out on the beach. Although it was late fall in Sydney, it was a
warm and sunny day, and people were making the most of it. He flipped his phone
to the song, Boys of Summer by Don Henley. It had a wistful quality that he
loved, and right now it seemed appropriate. He turned the volume all the way up
and listened,
Out on the road today I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac.
A little voice inside my head said:
"Don't look back, you can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was.
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever.
I should just let 'em go
He wondered how this applied to
his current situation.
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