Chapter 34

The interview went off without a hitch, and he found himself 

energized with the give and take of doing media appearances again. It was an old seduction for him, and he reflected on what he had read on ego during his Buddhist readings the day before. “Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.”

He decided that as part of cleaning out his emotional closet, he 

would do his best to wrap up the unfinished business in his life. He had made a good start with Lisa, and since the accident had gotten back to the gym and abstained from alcohol. It was an old cycle for him, and he wanted to get off the treadmill once and for all.

He thought back to a challenge F Scott Fitzgerald had made to his daughter back when he was a young father. “Am I trying to make my body a useful instrument or am I neglecting it?” A year later he had drunk himself to death when he was not much older than John. It was a cautionary tale he had always been aware of.

The biggest unfinished business in his life had to do with Amarita, 

and how he would handle their past, present, and future. He was trying to live a life where his personal and professional values aligned, and sleeping with someone else’s woman was not an honorable way to behave. He was done with rationalizations and grey areas.

He decided that sending her an email asking to meet would be the 

best course of action, as he didn’t know how comfortable she was with him texting her. It was sneaking around he knew, but he needed to get this resolved. He had learned from his interactions with Lisa that there was rarely such a thing as “casual” when it came to affairs of the human heart.

They agreed to meet at One Tree Hill, which was a lush and green park on a former volcano that offered stunning views of Auckland and the sea beyond it. He debated on bringing wine, and then vetoed the idea in his mind. Clarity was his goal here. Not lowering his inhibitions and his already shaky impulse control.