Chapter 28

As the week progressed, it became clear to him how he wanted to spend his weekend. He packed his car for an overnight trip and pointed it to the south. He needed to retrace his steps a bit.

After a few hours of hours of driving he approached Lake Taupo and saw the gorgeous snow capped mountains rising up behind the lake. It was rare to see snow on the North Island of New Zealand, and it reminded him of his first job away from home at Mt. Ranier outside of Seattle. Whenever he saw snow on top of a mountain he thought about that time and place, and his first real adventure in life.

As he drove around the lake he saw Mt. Ruapehu in the distance and felt a real sense of excitement. He’d always loved a good road trip, and he felt good knowing he was traveling with a purpose today. He laughed to himself as he thought about a line from his favorite TV show called The Wire. “A man has got to have a code.”

A few hours later he picked up Lisa at her home and headed for Himitangi Beach. He thought some quiet and private time on the beach would allow them some space to talk, and he had dearly missed this quaint little corner of the world.

“I was surprised to get your email,” John began. “But it really made me think about a few things, so I wanted to come down here in person and talk about it. I’m sorry if I hurt you, and wanted to clear up any mess I left behind as good as I can.”

“Well I was MORE surprised to hear from you, I assure you doctor. I almost didn’t hit send on that email, but I thought if I didn’t send that message it would be like our time together never really happened, and I couldn’t stand that. You weren’t just a ship passing in the night for me.”

“I’m glad you did send that message, and I’ve thought a great deal about what was in your email this week. You came along at a strange time in my life, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you everything that you wanted. Bennie had just died and I’d just come from the wake and I was sad and lonely and needed a shoulder. It’s no excuse for using someone though, and I’m sorry if that’s the way I made you feel.”

“Well it’s not like you didn’t tell me you weren’t fully available,” she replied. “But even still, it felt real and it felt true, and when you just took off I was left with all these feelings. Everyone wants to feel like they mean something to other people, and I didn’t feel like that, and wanted to let you know.”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it and tried to reassure her that he cared.

He knew it was an important moment and he gave it his full attention. People affect people. He said it all the time, but these were his actions and his karma to deal with.

He vowed to do things better.