Chapter 27

 Flying back to Auckland on a cold and drizzly Sunday night, he felt pangs of loss and regret that fluttered in his stomach for the duration of the four hour flight. It had been a whirlwind trip in every way, and he was spinning with the letdown that came with so many intense experiences. 

Arriving home later that night, he turned on his computer and saw a number of unanswered emails. He wanted to get his head into a good space before going back to work the next day, and decided getting organized would help.

One particular email caught his eye. It was from Lisa, the pretty receptionist he had been with when he went home for Benny’s funeral, and he wondered what it might be about. He wasn’t expecting what came next.

John,

I wanted to write you and tell you a few things that have been on my mind. I know you may be thinking about what happened between us as “casual” but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and wanted to talk to you about some of this.

For me sex isn’t “casual” and not something I’ve even wanted to do since my divorce. Meeting someone new and exciting made me forget all of that, and I threw caution to the wind. It was a wonderful experience and made me feel like a woman again.

Maybe you’ve forgotten about me, but I just wanted to let you know I haven’t forgotten about you. I can’t speak for all women, but I know this woman doesn’t just have sex with someone and forget about this. I think you should know this, as you’re in the business of dealing with people’s emotions.

Lisa

He thought about all this as it related to his promise to himself not to use other people. Clearly his actions had left some hurt feelings in their wake, and he wanted to consider how to address this. Her comments were true. All of our interactions with others created ripples, and he had clearly left some of these unresolved.

He scrolled back through his email and saw the most recent one was from Amirita. It said simply,

John,

Had such an amazing time with you this weekend. Let’s do it again soon. What about your place this Saturday?

He thought about this email as well. She seemed to be suggesting an ongoing clandestine sexual relationship, and this ran exactly contrary to the integrity in his relationships he was trying to achieve.

It was midnight on Sunday night.

He was nowhere close to his goal of starting the week with a clear mind.